Strapping on the life preserver

Wow, can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I updated the blog!  I've had QUITE a few good rides, I'm still riding Kiara every Wednesday and LOVING it.  I got to ride Trainer's CCI3* horse a few weeks ago ... NOT at the walk for an hour, but for an hour w/t/c.  He's coming back from an injury and has a very specific regimen of dressage stuff he's supposed to engage in on a daily basis, and I learned what it felt like to REALLY get a 17.1 hand horse trotting forward enough to a good dressage test.  Let's just say it's NOT Like hacking a hunter ;)

Did a few gymnastics over the last few weeks.  Cantered through 5 one strides with a placing pole; that was FUN, and good.  The jumps ended up around 3', so a fun ride.  Another gymnastic I did was trot a vertical with 5 placing poles; it began as 2', ended up at 3'6.  WOW!  She was amazing through it, as the jump got higher, I found I could really just sit still and she was right there for me.  The cantering gymnastic was trotting in; a placing pole to an x, one stride to a vertical, one stride to a TALL crossrail, 2 strides to another TALL crossrail.  She was actually pretty spooky, and I really had to work to help her make it through the distance AND keep her from getting wiggly.  Trainer didn't make the last big X an oxer since Kiara is a little ... um, FAT right now.  Besides, she was pretty looky-loo with those tall crossrails.

I titled my blog post "Strapping on the life preserver" because today I FINALLY zipped myself into my xc vest!  It has a belt that clicks in the front, and I always feel like I'm putting on a life vest, lol.  I've been riding for a year and a half at a fabulous facility with a FULL xc course, Intro to Prelim, but I've never ridden out on it.  I had a chance once, but it was knowing full well I'd have to be "beating" the horse over every jump, so I bowed out of that one.

2 weeks ago, I hacked Kiara down the course and rode her on the tracks between fences at a walk.  Holy heck, she felt like she'd spook and spin right out from under me pretty much every second of the ride.  She spooked at the tall mustard growing, the tall grass, the jumps, the wind, the rustling of leaves ... she felt VERY tense.  I kept at it until she FINALLY stretched down into my hands and took a deep breath.  Back to the barn we went.

Today, I showed up when trainer said to, only to be told I was supposed to be ON at that time, not just arriving.  Grrrr. So I had to run to the pasture, grab Kiara, knock the dirt off, and rush rush rush.  I worked myself up a little bit, because I'd hoped to somewhat zen out, but it was not to be.  To top things off, I could NOT find my neck strap, so I grabbed a loose stirrup leather and put it on, but it was much tighter that I typically like; however, it was better than nothing.

As we walked down, she was working HERSELF up, head up and snorting.  We made our way down, and she spooked at the other horse that was already down there throwing a hissy fit.  We made our way past the other horse, found a track that wound through the mustard, and picked up a trot.  We approached a series of jumps, and she spooked.  Approached more jumps, another spook.  Kept going, and she finally began to focus on the job at hand.  I made it all the way to the end of that particular lane, and had some room to work back and forth a little.  There was an Intro log right by the start box.  VERY tiny.  Walkable in fact.  So, we walked over it both ways.  She relaxed a little more.  Trotted back the other way with MUCH less spooking this time, turned around, and walked the log again.  No biggie!  Trotted over it both ways.  I snagged the neck strap just in case, but she hopped over with no drama.  Landed with a bit of a head shake and a crow hop, but came right back to me.  Walked over 2 more Intro logs on the way back, and she was starting to feel pretty good.

Made it back to Trainer who was at the smaller water complex.  She went over my position at the canter.  I had to bridge my reins, lean INTO her neck, move my stirrups more towards "home" position, and stand straight up to stop.  I felt VERY awkward leaning on her neck, but Trainer insisted this way allows the horse to just fall into rhythm and YOU not to pick and pull on the way to the jump.  Makes sense to me!  There was another tiny Intro log that we trotted over, and I worked on keeping my knuckles in her neck the whole time.  Strung together a baby hanging log, canter thru the water.  She CHARGED into the water w/out a single hesitation.  Trainer told me to go trot an Intro Palisade jump on a path we hadn't gone down and gave me the "rules" on the course for when a horse stops.  You clear it 3 times, and you GET THE JOB DONE.  I gulped a little, headed to the jump, and she was so busy spooking at the mustard that upon arrival at the jump, she popped her shoulder and attempted to canter right by it.  I pulled her up, put her nose right on the middle of it, and reapproached.  She hopped over it big and crow hopped on the landing side, but we were over.  Came again and it was better.  Came the 3rd time and no problem.

Strung together log at the water, turn and go thru water, over hanging log, then down over an arched Intro log about half way down my warm up lane.  She ate the distance to the log and b/c it was so small practically tripped over it.  After the hanging log, she tried to crow hop so hard that Trainer hollered at me to fix it, but I was so busy laughing I couldn't do anything about it.  Finished up by doing the hanging log into the water to a BN coop, then on around to a BN green painted roll top type jump.  Coming to the coop, I sat down, got in the "back seat", pressed my knuckles in her her neck, and she jumped it well despite being a little surprised.  The turn to the rolltop was a PERFECT spot for her to duck out to the right b/c it was off a left hand turn, but I sat back, growled, closed my leg, and OVER she went!  I walked her back to Trainer on a loose rein w/ LOTS of pats and praise, then we did that one more time for good measure.  The 2nd time, she was like a BEAST.  Flew over the hanging log, charged through the water, took the coop like a star, and was looking for the center of the rolltop.  GOOD GIRL! I had SO much fun, she was GREAT.  Pleased, proud, and excited to go out again soon!

It's PAST time for a little update!

Well.  Sorry for the lapse in coverage lately!  I've been travelling to FL for work, and the time change has had me all tired as soon as I get off work.  I'm sure the time change hasn't been helping things either!  I've ridden a few tricky horses at Event Barn that a year ago, I would NOT have achieved good results on.  Still to this day I tend to go to my hands before I go to my seat, but thanks to Trainer, I've begun to slowly back away from pulling so much.  I rode a tricky dressage pony last week that kicked my butt!  He picks up this AWFUL half tranter thing that feels so yucky.  And when I put my leg on he just wants to canter.  And when I tried to hold contact, he just stiffened his jaw against me and went around like a 16.1 hand moose.  Ugh.  After about 10 minutes, I was actually really frustrated and questioning my ability to "ride ANYTHING on the flat".  These dressage horses really are MUCH different than the hunter rides I'm more used to.

Trainer was finally able to turn her attention to me and help me, so after about 15 more minutes, I was FINALLY able to get some semblance of a nice, round trot.  LOW hands, but still have elbows bent, shoulders back, LOTS of half halting, but NO pulling.  Wow.  I actually felt like how it feels to physically push a wheel barrow uphill while riding this horse.  I thought the feeling of PUSHING a wheel barrow on a horse was impossible.  Nope, in fact, when you're properly riding a dressage horse, you should ALWAYS feel like you're pushing a wheel barrow!  His canter was actually quite lovely, I had no problems with that; it's always that trot work that's hard for me to REALLY nail and do it perfectly correctly.  At the end, I felt like a tired, sore wet noodle, but I got pony going nice and forward and round, so it was all good:)

I've had some LOVELY rides on the mare, most notably after switching up her bit.  S ordered a litle 2 ring gag bit, and I slapped that puppy on my bridle ASAP.  Switched her from a running martingale to a standing with the gag because I've always thought pressure on a gag rein to bring a head down is silly.  Yes, I know you're supposed to thread just the snaffle rein through the ring, but with a 2 ring elevator, you ALWAYS have some gag action; it's not like a normal snaffle gag.  The standing has done it's job perfectly.  The one or two times she threw her head in my face, it kept her from smashing it, so I'm happy :)

Last week, I worked with Jade on counter canter for the first time.  I only did it on the long sides.  I practiced picking up correct lead/counter lead on the long side, switching up which one I wanted.  She got it 90% of the time, I was very happy with her.  I think her LH is getting stronger, because I used to have problems picking up her right lead.  I still do on occasion, but she's gotten better.  Got in some VERY good lateral work from her, as well as a bit of shoulder in.  I decided to break down the jump work for her and trotted virtually everything, circling inside the lines so we didn't have the shoulder bulge and drag, and EVERY jump was 2'6/2'9.  Height is NO problem for her, and the jumps don't bother her.  If I could just FIX her in between bulge and run off crap she'd be AMAZING to jump around.  Little gag bit worked GREAT and when she decided to land and bolt, I sat her on her BUTT so fast it made her head spin.  Finished up with a lovely track with good approaches, quiet landings and a great attitude.

Most recently, she flatted up nice and quiet so I threw in a few crossrails, which she took to beautifully.  Did NOT canter on the flat, just gradually progressed from random x's to a full course.  I cantered EVERYTHING.  We had one issue where we often have issues, coming left lead away from the in gate.  She bulges and drags right to the rail.  It's dangerous, it's stupid, I don't know WHY she does that.  So I kicked her butt to the point that she got upset every time we came around the corner and began hopping up and down so I just patted her, walked until she chilled, then jumped the jump  out of a trot.  I didn't venture to that spot any more, but I did have a few issues with jumping a line or 2 once she got tired.  Jumps the first jump great, just hauls and drags right on landing, never sighting in on the 2nd jump in the line.  So, I trotted in, cantered out after jumping in, circling right, jumping in, circling left, etc about 5 times so when I went straight ahead it surprised her and she was beautifully straight so I quit there.  LOVE the brakes, speed was not ever an issue.  Even though she can still frustrate the heck out of me, she is 148% improved over the mare she was a year ago.  I would LOVE to run her xc, I think she will LOVE it because at the BN/N level there's no need to worry about lines.  She can gallop in, gallop away, no worries.  It's currently on the bucket list :)

Appreciating what you have

If I let myself think about it too much, I feel sorry for myself that I had to sell Tiki.  I love that horse, and I always thought I would get to keep him "until his legs fell off".  But I know I made the right decision when I get the pics and emails from his kidlet.  Let me tell y'all; they've competed T, and they're going to do a P CT in Dec or Jan.  WHOA!  I always wondered if the boy had the stuff for more UL, but I was too much of a chicken to find out.  It's beginning to look like he DOES :)  So I look forward to hearing about their T competitions, and the big P move up.  It's a match made in Heaven!

I feel so fortunate to not only have Jade to ride, but also to be sitting on SO many horses at Eventing barn.  I used to keep track of all the horses I'd ridden; I wrote their names on my tack box.  It was a never ending push for me to want to sit on EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I could.  Then I got old and fat and didn't ride much, and when I finally bought my own horse, I found that ANY motivation to sit on anything else was gone.  Just for fun, I'm going to list the horses I've ridden at Eventing barn.  I'm pretty sure I've been there just under a year at this point.  In no particular order: (updated 11-30-14)
1.  Kiara
2.  Pluto
3.  Rusty
4.  Sky
5.  Jedi
6.  Kimmie
7.  Spellbound
8.  Luna
9.  Belle
10.  Hannah
11.  Partner
12.  Connor
13.  Puffin
14.  Whisper
15.  Ricky Bobby
16.  Patton
17. Puzzle

I think of what each and every one of these horses have taught me, and it makes me so happy to say I've had the opportunity to ride them!  And if Tiki had made the trip w/ me to CA like I'd originally planned, I probably wound not have sat on even half these horses!  I've learned how to FINALLY feel what it's like to have real, true collection.  I've ridden passage and piaffe.  I've felt a perfect flying change just by the shifting of my weight.  It's been amazing!  I hope things work out to where I continue to ride where I'm at for a long, long time.  I absolutely love my horsey life right now!

Positive Progress is always good :)

Well, Ms. Mare is making positive progress, as is the Muffin Man w/ his kidlet!  They made their first Recog. T debut this weekend, and finished a strong 6th place :)  Dressage score was a 32.5, then they had 3 rails in stadium.  I know from experience that if you're a little nervous, sometimes he hangs a leg and catches a rail, whether it's 3'3 or 2'.  Probably some nerves there, since she had not ONE rail in their T CT they did a few weeks ago.  Clear with a few seconds of time on XC.  Poplar Place has some scary looking T XC jumps, so to jump around clean is amazing!  That means Tiki man in ALL his Recog outings has only had ONE XC jump penalty, and that was at his very first one for both of us, and I can tell you for a fact that HUGE nerves were in play that day.  So proud!

As for Jade, rode her last Sat, and it was quite literally the very first time I ever approached every jump with a LOOSE rein.  Normally, I'm trying hard not to pull on her as we head into the jumps, but I definitely always have contact.  Last week, it was hands forward and kick.  So proud of her, that was a huge step in the right direction.  Jumped everything w/ a little bit of height, and she didn't care at all.  The one jump she actually gave a little bit of attention to was the little red box she's hopped over a few times.  I let her first steep crossrail oxer, and she didn't even LOOK at that one, lol.  I was expecting her to make a fuss at that one, but nope!

During her flatwork, I purposely came across a diagonal and asked for a change; a little late right to left, but PERFECT left to right; opposite of Tiki man!  I did just the one change each direction, then didn't ask for any more.  Lots of pats and praise.  Didn't get to ride at all Wed due to having to help my son get his school life organized, but I'm hoping this week is finally back to normal.  Excited to be making forward, positive progress w/ the mare :)

On horses maturing

First grid!

I went through it with Tiki, and now I'm goin through it with Jade ... maturing :)  I believe maturity has nothing to do with age; it has everthing to do with "getting with the program".  When I first sat on Jade last year, the thought of jumping never even crossed my mind.  I remember vividly with Tiki watching a friend jump a haybale at Joyce's and wondering if we would ever get to that point.  When the horse underneath you is so inconsistent on the flat, it's hard to think about all 4 feet off the ground, but when you're an eventer that thought eventually crosses your mind!

I'm not afraid of flatting horses.  Unless they're flat out dangerous, I feel as though I can ride through most anything.  So over the past months, Jade has pulled every evasive trick in the book; spooking, bulging, above the bit, behind the bit, under the bit, fast, slow, jigging, etc.  But through it all, I've remained consistent in my treatment of her.  Leg on, insist she take the contact, don't take "no" for an answer ... and it's paid off!  S can comfortably w/t/c/jump her now, and when we first began this journey, she was actually riding her in a western saddle for security!  I think it's been a combination of consistent riding, warmer weather, and supplements.

When I get on her, I put on my leg and push her up into my hand.  No jigging, no curling behind the bit, and a MUCH improved work ethic :)  I wear my spurs now to help really fine-tune control that right shoulder and it's certainly helping.  Now that S and I have been able to get her back in work, the bulging is beginning to minimize again.  That is always going to be her achilles heel, for sure.  This past week, I continued the idea of ramping up her jump work and jumping more "real" jumps vs just puttering over 18".  I actually cantered figure 8's over a crossrail, and she was super, even offering up a few flying changes.  I rode the canter to the crossrail trying to think about which lead I wanted to land, but she is still pretty strong at the canter, so just focusing on a rhythm was my primary objective.

There was another person in the ring with me, so I could only have 2 jumps "up".  I made one of the brush boxes a tall crossrail, and I put a pole over the brick.  I also dropped a trot pole in front of the little gray box to work on her trotting to the base.  I still don't do much jump cantering, that will come with time.  After cantering the crossrail in the figure 8 pattern, I moved on to flatwork, trot a jump, flatwork, trot a jump.  After every jump, I halted straight then flexed her right and moved her off my right leg.  All was pretty good until I was trotting the little box and I felt it; the right bulge.  She landed and DRAGGED me to the rail, nearly running into the other horse in the ring.  It has been MONTHS since she pulled that little trick so I jumped her case HARD.  I circled, growled, and gave her nice bump with the spur.  We then proceeded to jump that jump 5 times, with slight improvement each time.  I gave her a break, then did a little course involving a right hand turn after EVERY jump.  She did that well, I was proud.  Not a bulge to be found!

Today, she did her VERY FIRST grid :)  Yay!  It went much better than I even could have hoped.  I set a trot pole, crossrail, 9' to a brush box w/ no standards, 9' to a pole, 9' to a crossrail, 9' to a brushbox, 9' to a pole, 9' to a final crossrail.  S helped me, and we built it gradually.  She took everything in stride, pardon the pun.   I even approached in my 2 point, which I have NEVER done w/ her before.  The distances were actually more like 8'; I'd set everything short w/ the hope of making her wait.  Predictably, by the last she got a little on the quick side, but I chose not to jack the final jump up to back her off.  That will come next time ;)  I was so pleased with her understanding of how to handle it; there was no stops/bulges/runouts/bids/awkward moments.  Once or twice she was so nice and light and foot perfect I was just thrilled.  I believe she has really gained confidence, which is translating into maturity ... I'm excited to see how she does once the days get shorter and the winds kick up.  I hope we continue to move forward and progress; she's turned into quite the fun horse to ride!

A few riding updates!

All has been pretty good on the horsey-front.  My adorable Puffin pony got sold to a kidlet, so YAY for him, BOO for me:(  I got to sit on super fancy Belle the week before last; she has a MOTOR and a half, that girl does.  She looks like Tiki except with bigger ears and 4 white socks.  Her breeding is full Hanoverian, but he looks like a dang Thoroughbred all the way.  She's petite and narrow like the muffin man, and I LOVE to ride her.  Didn't ride out at event barn last week or this week due to me volunteering at another schooling 3 phase event, and this week event trainer is at REBECCA FARM competing her lovely Trakehner gelding in the CIC3*.  WISH I WAS THERE!  Next year ... I will totally be going to Rolex, Rebecca, and Inavale.

I rode a really, really, really nice horse named Hannah the time before I rode Belle ... and let me tell ya ... I've never been run away with; I shut that crap down before it ever has a chance to get revved up.  But Hannah's TROT is like a freaking 12' canter stride, no joke.  If there were ever a horse with the potential to run off with me and I'd let it happen because she's so sneaky about it, it's Hannah.  I was pretty much exhausted after trotting her for half an hour, and I wimped out and only cantered one way.  I truly believe if I'd let her go the full length of the ring and not just stayed on a 20m circle, I probably would have had a very hard time stopping her.  Event trainer says this mare has FEI dressage potential.  I believe it!  Also on that day, got to ride super handsome stallion Sky again.  I feel so blessed every time I sit on that horse, he is AMAZING.  I've only ever ridden him in the dressage tack, but that is AOK by me.  His movement and power is just breathtaking, but he is such a gentleman; when I ride him, I use a mullen mouth happy mouth snaffle, and I never even have to TOUCH his face, he's that soft.  I LOVE how much I am learning there, very thankful for the opportunity to be there.

Ms. Mare has been AWESOME.  We had a few good rides after the show, and then the month of July was a combo of vacation time, and injury time for Jade.  She got a nasty looking puncture wound on her upper leg and was off for a week or 2, so I have only ridden her a hand full of times since my last update.  Rode Saturday, and with the exception of her geting a little strong at the canter, she was picture perfect.  Today, I decided to test her bravery and jack up the baby jumps to actual big girl jumps.  Substantial crossrails, a solid 2' vertical w/ flowers, a 2'3 post and rail, and a 2'6 vertical w/ a brush box.  I normally jump her 18", and have hopped over 2' on one or two occasions.  I decided it was time to bump it up a notch!

With the time off she's had, her dragging right has made a bit of re-apperance, so in my flat work, I actally kept a right bend the ENTIRE ride so she was physically incapable of popping that shoulder and dragging me right.  I trotted her over a bunch of random poles, working on maintaining her straightness through her body and feeling her responsiveness to my leg.  I began to incorporate the little 18" vertical and then the 2 bigger crossrails into my flatwork, halting, bending right, and moving off my right leg after each jump.  I was pretty happy with her!  Progressed to the 2' vertical, then the 2'3 post and rail.  

The first few times over that one, she did get a tad anxious and try to canter the last stride or 2, so I went back and forth several times, then just went back to the crossrails for a bit, then came back to it and she was better; trotted to the base.  I let her walk for a bit, then just decided to Go For It.  

I was banking on the fact that the height would back her off a little, but hopefully not TOO much.  I told myself no matter what happened, if she went over it, we were done.  Well, she jumped it great, but knocked off the pole.  Probably because I talked myself into a last minute panic and tried to grab mane, but ended up jumping all up her neck.  Le Sigh.  That's what happens when I live jumping poles and 18" little things.  I also TRIED to work on what event trainer has had me do; shorten my reins enough that I can PLANT my knuckles in her neck approaching the jump, then NOT move.  Just sit still.  But she wans to rush the base, so I have to RIDE her to the base still.  Sigh again.  I got off, reset the pole, then came again.  This time, I grabbed my martingale strap (which is a poor substitution for my neck strap, but you work with what you've got!), and even though she did sneak in a last minute canter stride this time, she jumped it perfectly.  I let her walk for a minute, then I HAD to finish up over a crossrail, then back and forth over the 2' vertical so I reinforced TROT to the base, NO cantering.  She got it. I was very happy with her.  ME, I wasn't all that happy with; either she was just putting in a big effort with her body, or I was just seriously off my game, but I felt like I was pretty much behind the motion on every jump.  See, this is our usual jump height:

So it was probably a combination of her being impressed w/ the jumps, and me being defensive.  But overall, a great day :)  Very proud ... little maresy is growing up to be a big girl:D

Overall theme of the day is ...

... Improvement!  My lessons w/ event trainer have been literally life changing, in the riding sense.  I got to ride both her stallion again!

AND ... I finally got to sit on the 4 star horse, woop woop!  Granted, the 4* horse was a trail ride followed by 45 minutes of walking, but STILL.  My butt sat on a horse bound for the Rolex CCI**** next year.  How lucky can a girl get??

So, I'm so thankful for the opportunity just to be able to experience that upper level feel and movement.  My old hunter trainer said her daughter didn't get to be the amazing rider she is today by riding the "bad" ones, as so many people say.  She got to where she is by having the chance to ride NICE horses, that taught her what a "nice" horse should feel like.

I've been riding lots of ponies; Puffin the puff ball Icelandic, Kiara (not so much since she got purchased.  BOO for me, but yay for her new owner!), and Kimmie (the gray Connemara).

When I rode Kimmie, it took me about 5 minutes to get her round, soft, and in front of my leg.  The previous 3 times I rode her, I EXHAUSTED myself TRYING to get her forward and round, and achieved maybe half a lap of actually having her engaged and her back up.  This last time, it was quick and simple, and she stayed nicely between the hand and the leg for most of my 40 minute ride.  The pony Puffin is mostly about WORKING him.  He's pretty fat, but he's super athletic.  I love to jump him around, and trainer is working with me on doing as little as possible.  I tend to want to "help" him by jumping up his neck, and we all know how that works out.

I took a lesson with honorary little sis Nicole on Rusty, and it was super fantastic.  I jumped around on a horse I'd never ridden, and it was just NICE to be able to focus mostly on ME, and fixing the myriad of bad habits I've developed over the years.  Rusty is another Pluto; an ex upper level horse of trainer's that is now a super lovely lesson horse that I don't get to ride hardly at all b/c she has to use him for her other students!  A year ago, I would have politely declined to jump around, focusing instead on flatwork, but I'm finally being brave and going for it!

I rode a SUPER nice older BTDT hunter named Partner last week.  He's another big, gray Trakehner, and though he has a bit of a spook to him, it was a lovely lesson.  Our first jump was almost enough to zap my confidence b/c he apparently HATES to trot jumps, and it was a horribly awkward and painful jump, but I took a deep breath, pushed back the fallen down brim of my helmet, pushed my heels down, and persevered until I was able to canter back and forth through a line perfectly.  He's just BIG, and I don't feel all that comfortable on a BIG horse.  Flat, yes.  Jump?  Not so much.  But it ended great, I'm happy. :)

Overall, I'm SO happy with the progress I'm making, and trainer treats me like any other part of the team.  I get to ride her 'fancy ponies' (for which she actually THANKED me, what??), I get to ride the nice sale horses, and I have my fun little pony project, which I'm loving.  Even though I miss my sweet, sassy little muffin man like crazy, it warms my heart to see him out competing with his new child at N, finishing on his dressage score like a good boy.  She's thinking of moving up to T this Fall, and I can't wait to hear all about it!  I'm lucky that I can still keep up with him, and I'm lucky the sale worked out and his new home is every bit as good as his old one was :)  I am very grateful for the situation I'm in now, and looking forward to continuing to improve and to sit on more fancy ponies :)

2 separate posts so as not to turn into a novel ...

You can see how loose I have the draw reins.

I know.  My attention span isn't that great either, but I don't like to be un-detailed because you just never know when you may need to read back through something to get ideas!  So.  I'll start with the mare ...

Rode her Saturday in the ghetto draw reins.  I wanted to give her 2-3 rides with the "gadget" just to help her get her muscles working correctly, then go back naked.  She started out very fresh, very tense, and jiggy.  Every time I asked her to trot, she tried to pop her shoulder and canter off, so I spent some quality time doing w/t transitions until she settled in a little more.  I did lots of circles and changes of direction, and finally she began to settle down into the contact and get a little more steady.

I trotted her over a small crossrail set dead center in the ring, and she was pretty good!  She did try to get a little quick at first, so I worked to stay soft and not pull on her, which would then trigger her to pull on ME.  I only did it a few times, halting in a straight line after.  When I landed and kept cantering after jumping it about 5 times, she was perfect because she thought I was going to halt her, so she cantered nice and slow :)  Went to some more trot work, and she did begin to drag me tracking left a little bit, so I stayed well off the rail and counter-bent her pretty hard core until she went straight, not diagonally right!  Finished up with a right lead canter that was super long.  I just kept going, and going, and going.  The draw reins helped her to stay within the contact, and I half halted pretty dramatically, really making the effort to LET GO, which is crucial to the working of a HALF halt.  She threw about 5 lead changes during that final canter, but I didn't care, I just kept taking nice deep breaths and softening the contact as much and as often as possible.

Today, I had a fantastic horse!  I rode her early in the day, and sans draw reins.  I spent about 15 quality minutes at the walk.  You may think initially that would be me copping out, but she is as hard to walk on contact as Tiki used to be.  She wants to jig, get crooked, root, you name it.  I pushed her on, gently squeezed my ring fingers, sat back, took deep breaths, and FINALLY got some super walk on contact!  I had 3 different jumps set with 2 poles 9' apart.  I then had just a single pole thrown in randomly.  The task was not to jump, the task was to trot poles in perfect rhythm while staying straight.

I picked up the trot, and despite swishing her tail a few times, she was good other than being a little quick.  I did loopy, 15 meterish circles until she forgot to try and bulldoze.  I tried super hard to give my inside rein as much as possible, sit back, and not pull on her.  I kept my hands together and my outside leg on, and felt like I really had a nice horse under me.  That lasted until I asked for the right lead canter, lol.  She THREW that head around, and tried to put her nose between her knees while she leaped in the air.  I went back to trot, walked the poles some more, and asked again for canter.  This time, she was good.  Didn't hold it a super long time, but was VERY pleased by how responsive she was on the downward transitions.

Went back to trot, and she was so ready to walk at the poles, I was able to soften my reins, close my leg, and keep her trotting nice and slow over the poles.  I went right then left and straight, just trying to keep her guessing and listening.  Cantered left, and good girl!  Trotted more poles, nice and slow.  Counter flexed tracking left, and she stayed nice and soft.  Tried a new thing at the end; after cantering both leads on small circles, I kept her going and cantered a pole.  Of COURSE I got there long, and she leaped at it.  I patted her, went back to trot, walked some poles, back to canter off the other lead.  Deep and strong, but manageable.  Back to trot, then canter ONE more time over the pole, and got there long again, but she waited!  Good girl:)  Today, she really felt like she could go just like a "normal" horse where you kick and do nothing with the reins.  I know she'll get there; I've already felt such a big difference in her, I know the warm summer weather will help her to be even better :)

Yet another *amazing* day!

Look Ma! A big oxer with a little pony!  

The "box"

Gymnastic line

The 'out' oxer of the gymnastic

I tell ya ... I am loving this whole "take lessons" thing!  It has been a serious desire of mine to get back to receiving regular instruction, but it's definitely a difficult thing to get worked out.

I rode Jade this morning.  She was OK.  I have difficulty sometimes because she really can just be a witch with a capital "B".  It's frustrating because when I throw her in the roundpen to longe her, she canters BEAUTIFULLY.  Balanced, rhythmic, and easily.  When I longed Tiki, he would fight me every step of the way.  Jade is happy to oblige, all the time!  When I throw a leg over her, though, all that changes.  She gets tense, rushes, evades, and generally acts the part of a pissy mare.  I don't know if it's hormones, pain, general attitude, or learned actions.  Her saddle appears to fit EXTREMELY well, but the sweat patterns are a little wonky sometimes.  She sweats more on the left side of her body, it's weird.  I've tried using my Thinline pad instead of the fleece half pad, and it seemed to make a difference, but now she's just like she was before.  She just fluctuates like CRAZY!  I've had a few amazing rides on her, but lately I've been fairly unimpressed.  Maybe once the days get a little longer, S and I can alternate days and get her ridden 4-5 days a week instead of 1-3.  It may be that for her level right now, she just needs more consistency.  Were she mine, I honestly would probably start supplement tinkering, beginning with the U gard stuff by Cortaflex I had Tiki on for the first 2 years I had him.  She is an OTTB, it's not unreasonable to think she may have a little bit of an "ouchy" tummy.  I don't know.  I've never owned a mare, so suggestions are always welcome!

All that being said, she wasn't bad today.  I truly don't take any crap off her though, so when she experimented with trying to canter off and swishing her tail when I asked for a trot, I hauled off and yanked her up in a circle and paired that with growling at her in "angry voice".  As SOON as she gives me what I want, I release pressure and give lots of pats and sweet voice praise.  Switched up the bit today and used the mullen happy mouth loose ring.  Meh.  I like her better in the waterford.  S said she'd been heavy and curling up behind the bit her last few rides, so I was curious which mare I'd have today.  Heavy, yes, but I've also changed the way I've been riding her.  I feel like when they're learning, they do go through the "heavy" stage before they learn 'self carriage', and lightness.  She MUST learn to accept the leg contact, she MUST learn to be forward but not fast, and she has to figure out balance.  I've done the loose rein thing like I did with Tiki, but instead of that I've been focusing on accepting the aids.  She felt quite like she could be a bottle rocket if the circumstances warranted, so I didn't push my luck and jump.  I only did about 4 canter transitions, and literally cantered about 3 strides before pulling up.  Kept the ride to 20 minutes, and ended as SOON as I got some good, honest attempts to be submissive and have a good attitude about it.

At Eventing Barn, I got to ride my chestnut pony again.  I WANT TO WIN THE LOTTERY SO I CAN BUY KIARA!  She is my pony.  I love her.  And literally, she's a 14.2 hand pony :)  I got to join in with another person and jump her today.  Like, not just hop over a crossrail, I mean JUMP :)  Trainer had a "box" set up of 2 diagonal lines with 2' verticals; 30' between one line, and 40' between the other.  Exercise was to make a figure 8, doing 3 in the 30', and 4 in the 40'.  Holy hard exercise, Batman!  Lessoning again is a humbling experience.  That dang left bulge got me again, as every time I cantered over the single cav pole, I was too far left.  GRR!  Lol.  Finally got straight, and we moved on.  Thank the lord I had the awareness to NOT drop my leg at the base.  I kept my awareness at all times, and for the most part the leg was there.  My first few attempts at the exercise were a great big FAIL.  Kiara is a little bit "hard" and generally unsensitive through the bridle, so it became a challenge for me more about using my body instead of my hands.  After a few epic misses when she didn't quite add the step, she finally figured things out and added in.  Got a few GREAT trips through, and we were both pretty exhausted.

From there, Trainer had us canter a 2'3 square oxer.  Considering my pony has jumped only a hand full of times, I sighted in, CLOSED MY LEG, and had a few nice warm up jumps, yay.  The next exercise was to canter 4 placing poles, vertical, 4 more placing poles, oxer.  Um, the jumps looked HUGE, haha.  Honestly, I'm pretty sure they were just 2'6, but I haven't {bigger than crossrails}jumped since ... May or June, maybe?  And then it was my 15.2 hander!  I haven't jumped a jump of substance on a horse other than Tiki in 10-12 YEARS.  That's why I had all my "height" hangups at the beginning of my blog!  Too much teaching, not enough riding.  And Britain the lesson horse pretty much DESTROYED any confidence I had in my ability to jump unfamiliar horses when he stopped, propped, and popped a bunch of jumps until I finally had to jump off in humiliation ... in front of my peers and my students.

Anyway!  I went first, carried in a nice canter to the first pole, had a good vertical, but then pretty much lost it to the oxer.  I kicked my way through, and the distance was STEADY, not forward.  Ooops.  Despite my inadequacy, she managed to get over the jump and I stayed on, and when I came around again, it was MUCH better.  She jumps great, very cute and round.  I felt GOOD, Trainer said I was doing a good job letting her jump up to me.  There is video evidence of this ... it just hasn't been emailed to me yet!  Last part of the exercise was to do the gymnastic, then right lead around to a bending line of 2'9 oxers.  Square.  First time through, I did it directly and got an awkward 6 1/2 stride distance.  Tried again with a bend and got a 2nd awkward 6 1/2 stride distance.  Third time was a charm, and I put the bend in again AND gave her a nice little kick so she got there at 6 and just a smidge long.  She was exhausted, lol!

SO much fun.  SO glad I'm lessoning again.  SO glad to be "on the other side", it's enlightening and humbling all at the same time.  Thanks for reading "the Novel", stay tuned for the next chapter ...

I'm actually kind of proud of myself.

Sky.  Yes, I got to actually ride this today :D

Belle!  She has QUITE the engine.

Kiara.  How cute is she??

Hello from Sunny, DRY CA!  NOT the wet, soggy, and now iced in GA :D  First and foremost, I just got a lovely text from Muffin's new child, and she just wanted to let me know she's done 2 N combined tests with him, and even finished 6th out of 12 in her last one w/ a dressage score of 35!  Yay!  My best dressage score on the red headed goober was a 38.5, and I was DANG proud of it!  They're getting ready to do their first full 3 phase in a couple of months.

Why am I proud of myself?  Because I put myself out there to "cold contact" a trainer that I picked out of the air, and I have managed to score myself some AMAZING rides.  And trainer is AMAZING!  And she's even a super nice and wonderful person too, so SCORE!  I haven't had regular, weekly lessons in YEARS, and I'm finally getting eyes on me consistently.  It's so wonderful.  99% of my lessons have been dressage based so far, which is just fine.  I feel insecure jumping horses I don't know anyway, so I find I'm suffering from a little bit of anxiety at the thought of a "jumping lesson".  I rode Kimmie the pony by myself one evening after work, and I carried my crop, strapped on my spurs, and made her go like a good little dressage pony.  She wears my leg OUT, haha.  Took her over some poles w/out her trying to stop/spook/runout which was good.  I got to ride an ADORABLE chestnut pony w/ a stick up mane named Kiara last week.  She was SO FUN.  And I got to jump her.  It was the first time I jumped a horse w/ trainer, and it was really good.  Sadly, my endurance has just been so LOW, it's weird.  I'm still working out regularly but not cleaning stalls 5 days a week makes a difference I guess.  I work SO hard to get them going correctly, and after 15 minutes I'm just dying.  Kiara had only jumped a hand full of times before, so we began just w/ a little flower box and she was perfect.  It ended up that I took her from crossrails to a little line to a vertical, to a crossrail oxer.  I only missed to one jump at the canter, and I only jumped ahead of her on one trot jump, so I would call the day successful!  Loved her, she's definitely a favorite.  Like Spellbound, she is Morgan/TB.

Today, I rode a fabulous Hanoverian chestnut mare sale horse named Belle and ... THIS GUY: Virginian Sky  Holy moly, lucky me, can't believe it.  He was super amazing awesome fantastic, etc. etc.  I figured I'd be lucky to get to walk around; trainer had me canter tiny circles, PIAFFE, PASSAGE, and do 2 lead changes.  I never in a million years thought I'd get to piaffe or passage.  Sky is so amazing.  He's tricky to handle since he's a stallion and he's pretty big.  My instructions were to carry a whip, and once we left the stall to not stop moving.  He can't walk through the barn, we had to enter the indoor by one of the side doors.

I feel SO good since I've started riding these amazing horses.  They ALL go the same.  Soft contact, super responsive off the leg, and obedient in general.  They're all a little different; one may be lazy, another hot, one spooky, one bouncy, one not as consistent in the contact, but at the core of it, when you ride correctly, they go beautifully.  I still can't believe I rode Sky.  He really was a gentleman.  There was a mare in the ring w/ us the entire time I rode, and we did have a few "lose the sh*$" moments w/ a bunch of noise coming from the barn, and getting a little too close to the mares, but overall I just felt so lucky to get to ride him.

In short, I'm glad I took the chance to reach out to someone I didn't know at all.  She took a chance on me, I took a chance on her, and it's working out!  My only goal at first was just to hang out and watch lessons.  I have gotten to ride ...7 different horses so far, and I fully expect I will sit on at least 7 more in the next 6 months.  I just feel so happy to be here doing this!  I'm glad Tiki is happy w/ his child, he looks GREAT.  Fat, shiny, and looking better and better in the sandbox.  Everything happens for a reason, and I'm happy w/ how things are going right now :)

Post holiday recap!

Lots of pats for a job well done!

Cool canter pic

I like this one :)

Perfect example of how "alert" she always is

Walking from round pen to ring

The holidays have kept me a little bit busy lately :)  My wonderful SIL was in town, so I didn't want to abandon her to go ride, but I DID drag her with me one day to take a few pics, woo hoo!  I haven't been to awesome eventing barn in a few weeks because I only have one day to go out, and with Christmas and now New Year both falling on that ONE day ... oh well, it's not going anywhere!

I did ride Jade Friday and Saturday.  She was a doll!  The waterford bit came in, and I actually love her in it (like I thought I would;))  I put that on Tiki's old 'hunter' bridle with a regular noseband, but still paired it with the running martingale just in case ... I LIKE my nose 'as is', lol.  The weather has just been fantastic, great temps and no wind, so I think that probably has had a small effect on Jade's behavior as well.

Friday, S was actually at the barn riding a barn horse and got to watch me ride Jade.  There was a lot of cacaphony going on at the barn, but she handled it pretty well.  I longed her in the roundpen first (with not much action) and mounted in there.  Both days, she stood like a statue and did not MOVE, good girl. :)  I rode her in the lower ring, aka her "comfort zone".  She began pretty well, with me only having to spin her a hand full of times.  From there, she actually tried to throw a little bit of a hissy fit, actually kicking up once or twice in protest to being ridden forward and on the contact.  I stuck it out, spun her around a few more times, and she decided to get her stuff together pretty quickly after that.

I tried to do some more rail work with her that day, so not so much figure 8ing ... she actually seemed like she got a tad anxious working around the entire ring like that; when I DID go to a few schooling figures, she really blew out a deep breath and put in some great work for me.  I was super happy with the trot work, I feel like we're making progress and holding pretty steady.  S has been able to ride her this holiday time, which is GREAT!  Went to the canter, and it wasn't even what I would call GOOD; it was just ok.  She holds the correct lead, which is great.  Other than that, it was fast, heavy, unbalanced, and just overall anxious.  I patted her anyway, though, because it definitely could be worse than what it was!  We ended with walking the little path around the pastures together; lots of spooks and scoots!

Saturday, I rode her in the upper ring with all the jumps.  Leaps and bounds better than the other time I rode her up there.  She didn't spook once.  She TRIED to, but I sensed the tenseness and immediately asked for shoulder in, then leg yield, then shoulder in, then leg yield, just trying to get her mind on ME and not what ever else she could think about.  I rode all around the jumps, making lots of circles, squares, half turn in reverse, trot over poles straight on, trot over poles at an angle, and I finally began to really make transitions.  I tend to get a little "stuck" in my trot work, just doing LOTS of trot all the time.  I did that with Tiki too.  I made her work on w-t-w-t-h-t-h-w, then added in canter. WOW, what a difference in the canter.  The left lead felt GREAT, I really worked on half halting pretty aggressively, then just softening and allowing her to carry herself; that strategy was pretty darn good if I do say so myself:)  Right lead wasn't too bad, but there was certainly some head flinging going on.  Went back to the trot, and was able to actually put my leg on her, and even clucked once!  WOW, lol.  I only had to do maybe 5 spins total with her that day.  In fact ... she felt SO good, at the very end I put her on a short turn, then out of nowhere pointed her at a teeny tiny baby crossrail.  She happily hopped over, making a nice jump for me, landed cantering, and seemed quite pleased with herself :)  LOTS of pats, loose rein, and all was right with the world.

Took today to catch up on some housework, I will ride her again on Saturday since I'm not working.  S rode her today, so hopefully she was a good girl!  Having so much fun, just happy to be riding again:)  Hope all y'all had a great Christmas and New Year ... I can't complain about mine :D

AND! It has been decided ...

Me on a PWF lesson pony during summer camp :)

I have a mare to ride!  Her name is Jade, she's a dark bay ottb, petite little thing too!  All the better for my short leg, lol :)  She's not as narrow as Tiki, but she's a little bit smaller than he, maybe 15.1 or so?

It's always a tossup when you're doing a blind meet and greet.  It has been confirmed that "horse people are crazy", so I was unsure about Jade's owner, S, and she was unsure about me as well.  When we conversed and she mentioned she'd ridden Jade in a western saddle, I asked her if I could ride in her english one.  I am one of those weirdos that feel very uncomfortable and insecure in a western saddle, and I've ridden in all types.  I sold my BdH I'd bought for Tiki because I never loved it for ME, and it really didn't fit much of anything OTHER than Tiki, so it was just taking up space in my apartment.  You just never know what kind of equipment people are going to have, so I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped for the best!

The barn is pretty nice; 2 rings, a roundpen, a nice sized barn.  Pastures are dirt lots of course, but I've come to realize that is par for the course in Cali.  Miss Jade is pasture boarded and barefoot, woop woop!  I tried so hard to do that with Tiki, but he loves his stall too much for that, and his feet just never toughened up enough despite copious applications of pine tar.  We brought her in, knocked the dirt off, and S put the saddle on.  Yay!  It's a lovely saddle, super soft and nice and sticky :)  It even has the long billets; it's a brand I don't recognize, but it seems to be a nice quality.  The bit I rode her in was a kimberwicke, but S is completely cool with me experimenting with a few different ones.  I will try her in the loosering french link next time.  We put her in the roundpen, and nothing happened, so I felt fine taking her into the ring and getting on.

I'm completely grateful that after 5 months of not riding, all your skills don't go away, lol!  I never felt 'off' or awkward at all, I just got to work figuring her out.  The walk work was fine; she isn't fussy at all in the mouth.  I did a few circles, some light leg yield, a little shoulder-fore and Jade was good.  I then picked up the trot and felt right away why S hasn't done much with her.  She's not an easy ride!  She's the type to move fast but not go anywhere.  She tries to fall into the center, she spooks off the rail, she curls up behind the bit, but goes fast and hangs on you too.  Definitely on the sensitive side, but I like them that way.  S has said her struggles are mostly that she's a "do it yourselfer", and when Jade gets difficult, S doesn't feel comfortable picking a fight, so she's been doing just mainly walk and some trot.  I really hope that I can help her out; the mare WANTS to be good I think, but she also is one that works REALLY hard at getting out of work.

I did a TON of circle, reverse, come up centerline, circle both ways, half turn in reverse a bunch, leg yield to and from the rail, shallow serpentine, full ring serpentine.  She tries to just blow off the leg in turns and DRAG you around, will definitely have to work on that little maneuver.  She will be a fun one to chronicle; I really hope to make some real, tangible progress with her over the coming weeks.  Kudos to her, she does canter both ways on the correct lead (definitely a drama queen about it, though), and she has 3 nice gaits, so there's plenty there to work with.  Though she threw lots of avoidance techniques at me, she was never a witch, so I feel comfortable riding her alone.  S was thrilled when I finished up and said I loved her, gave me the green light to ride any time :)  I didn't time my ride, I finished up with a short canter both ways, then a little trot over a single pole each direction.  She felt steady in my hand, responsive, and reasonably straight and engaged.  I think the snaffle will really help with the behind the bit thing, I'm not a huge kimberwicke fan anyway, so we'll see how she goes.  I actually think she's a good candidate for the waterford, but it's only a 4 3/4 which will be too small for her, unfortunately.

So, "Tails" is back!  I'm just riding her once a week, twice on the weeks I'm off on Saturdays.  My goal is to help her be more consistent and steady for S.  I think just insisting on a good work ethic can go a long way towards achieving that goal.  Laters, y'all!

Karma

NOT my little muffin;)

Oftentimes, one sees the word "karma", and thinks negatively.  There's good karma, and bad karma ... obviously, we tend to reap what we sow!  I believe I'm finally about to reap me some GOOD karma :)

When Tiki was my little muffin, I offered him up to several of my good riding kids as an experience for them.  A few took me up on the offer, but not too many.  LR was more of a mutually beneficial thing; she got the experience, Tiki got a fantastic schooling ride.  I now find myself in the somewhat awkward position of being "horseless and broke", which doesn't always bode well for riding.  As stated in my earlier blog post, I'm trying to work out something with a local trainer to exchange lessons for "work", but in the mean time I received a  "pm" in my COTH inbox today.

Lo and behold, it's a fellow CA cother with an ottb not too far from me.  She seems to have found herself in a position similar to mine previously.  Nice green horse that could use more miles under saddle, and a limited schedule that gives her only 2-3 days per week to ride.  I see a potentially mutually beneficial arrangement in the works!  We've made a plan to meet up so we can meet "in the flesh", and I can sit on said horse and see if I'd like to ride her!  Yay, something to blog about!  Lol.  In the mean time, I plan to continue to try and do the 'lesson' thing as well, I'm just sensing opportunity here and intend to jump on it!  I'm glad that by my giving back, and doing things for my students for 'free' (I shipped not only Tiki, but also Star and Sparky out to PWF several times just for the sheer heck of it), maybe I'm getting a little bit of 'cosmic justice':)  Looking forward to finally getting to sit on a horse for the first time since JUNE.

I'm here!

Look at that beautiful view on the way to the barn!!

Well!  That was hard.  I've studiously avoided this blog until yesterday.  Sad, I know.  But it's "easy" not to dwell on things when you pretend that they don't matter.

If I'm being honest, I HAVE enjoyed my slight break from horses in general.  That tends to happen to me; I get SO involved, and SO invested and SO embroiled that I burn myself out; it's happened before, 17 years ago.  I was working/riding/going to the barn 5 and 6 days a week, and then I met the man who is now my husband.  BAM!  Stayed away from horses in general for about a year, and then didn't really get super involved again with them until about 3 years later.

If you've never owned a horse before, I'm here to tell you now:  IT'S STRESSFUL!  Vet bill both expected and unexpected, lessons, trailering, clinics, shows, poker rides, hunter paces, trail rides, etc.  Not to mention lost shoes, ripped blankets, destroyed fly sheets, chewed up reins, broken saddle trees, etc!  If you're independently wealthy, no big deal.  Just swipe that bank card, and all is well!  If you're like ME ... you're probably better off not owning a horse.

I'm happy to report that the muffin man is looking fat and happy in his new home!  His weight looks great, his coat looks great, he's getting to compete at Chatt Hills, and his owner is still in love with him :)  I'm so thankful the sale worked out for all parties; it's because of him that I'm blogging from my kitchen table here in the crisp, cool California morning.  It will warm up to around 70 today and will be sunny and gorgeous.  Who can complain about that??

I'm ALSO happy to report that I'm working on a way to get back into things, horse wise.  I got a job that I LOVE working in a dental office.  The work is challenging, it's out of the elements, and it's only 20 minutes up the street :)  On the up side of that job, I have every Wednesday OFF.  Seems like the perfect day to go hang at the barn, huh??  This past Wed I moseyed on over to a barn out in the town I work in, and spent several hours watching the trainer teach/ride and had the time of my life!  It was so relaxing to just BE there, not having to worry about working ... I'm trying to work on a plan that will allow me to do some work for her in exchange for a weekly lesson!  That achieves the goal I had set for myself when leaving GA; sell the horse, and just concentrate on learning and riding as much as I can.  For now, riding once a week will be perfect.  It will be a great escape, I'll actually get to LESSON instead of muddle around on my own, and I won't be all stressed out with being at the barn 6 days a week in addition to my normal life.  I'm not ashamed to say that my apartment is MUCH cleaner than my house was, my laundry room literally has NO clothes piled up in it, my kitchen is clean, carpets vacuumed, and even the ceiling fans are devoid of dust.  At this stage of our life, I just want to escape to the barn once in awhile.  I'm enjoying the time with my boys, I'm enjoying my "real job", and I'm enjoying going to church and spending time volunteering at my church.

I pledge to come back here to "Tails".  I WILL own another ottb someday; Tiki was such a blast I have to do another one!  I will get back to catching up on the other blogger's lives I've neglected in the past 4 months because it was too hard to venture back here.  My life is still very much in upheaval because it took so long to find jobs once we got here; as usual for ME, finances are stretched really tight, but I'm optimistic about getting things in order soon.  I'm hopeful to get something worked out lesson wise so that I have something to blog about in the next week or 2!  I don't know if anyone is still reading, but I'm sorry I stepped away and happy to be back!

Feeling the love

First off ... Tiki has a new mom.  More on that in a later post ...

I want to touch a little bit on how amazing my "kids" are.  When my husband I made the decision to move to California, I'm not going to lie.  I was feeling a little bit "unloved".  A huge fight with a great friend, a big fight with my family, good clients leaving my lesson program ... I was feeling a little bit like, "What have I got to lose"?  Well, as time has progressed and we've begun this process, I am being reminded that I AM loved.  A lot.  And it makes me so happy and I feel so blessed to have these amazing people in my life.

Words cannot even express the emotion I'm feeling as I read all the letters and cards that my girls and even my kid's parents are giving me.  I'm realizing I have COMPLETELY underestimated the impact I've had on people's lives.  I've been doing what I do for 16 years.  Whoa!  Can't even believe that!  To bring things full circle, I've had a young woman shadowing me for last month that I actually TAUGHT back then, when I was 18.  I've always held myself to a high standard, and tried to live my life by example; I've always tried to be an example to the people I've taught.  Turns out ... I've made an impact.

I am so humbled to read the anguish my leaving has brought on, to hear how much my kids (AND my adults!) will miss their weekly lessons with me.  I KNOW  I have a gift ... and I WILL use that gift again.  I have learned SO much from my wonderful boss; she has really helped to shape and mold my teaching style, and has gotten me to see things in a much more professional way.  She has been a mentor for me in my "actual" life, as well as for my professional life.

I think the reason I'm good at what I do is because I always put a piece of my heart into each and every soul I teach.  Sometimes those people end up sucking the life out of me.  More often than not, I feel an infusion of love and appreciation each time I teach them.  It's so nice to read how much that heart I give is appreciated. God has put me EXACTLY where I've needed to be all this time, and now He wants me to move on and focus on my own life a little more.  I've helped young girls grow into amazing women, and I've helped my fantastic teenagers to become horseman and really love themselves and their riding.

I wish I could articulate to each and every person that has sent me a sweet and touching letter how much you all mean to me.  It honestly breaks my heart a little bit to feel the pain my leaving has caused, but I KNOW I've given all of you the foundation you need to become amazing people, and amazing horsemen.  My heart is definitely fractured as a result of walking away from this life, but I know my path has taken a turn, and I have to follow it!  I will remember all of you fondly, and I MEAN it when I say CALL ME, TEXT ME, E MAIL ME, I'm here for you:)  We live in an amazingly connected world these days, and I plan to take advantage of it!  I love you guys.  Thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the life lessons.  Thank you for shaping ME into the woman I am today.  I have learned as much from you all as you have from me.  I am forever grateful to have had the opportunity to teach your children how to love horses, and how to love themselves.  Godbless!!!!!

Here in the 11th hour ...

My favorite pic from our first show together!

There's finally a little action.  We move in 9 days.  NINE days. I've been preparing myself for the reality of moving Tiki 3000 miles across country since my barn owner is kicking us out, but it's beginning to look like maybe a little girl will get to love on him and spoil him :)  I've moved into actually wanting to sell him, believe it or not.  I was SO sad about my decision to put him up for sale, but upon reflection, I KNOW I'm making the right decision.  We are changing our life, and moving 3000 miles away ... on our own.  Paying our own way.  I have a responsibility to my family to get on top of my finances, and go back to school.  Paying for a horse at this point in my life is irresponsible; for all intents and purposes, I'm 18 years old again, just graduating HS with my entire life ahead of me.  Tiki has been tried by 2 ADORABLE 12 year old girls, and he would be PERFECT for either one of them; they just have to pony up the $$!  Praying we get things wrapped up by the weekend, because this is my LAST weekend in the state of GA.  Wow.

On the upside, having 3 people try him in 3 days means I've actually ridden the muffin 3 days in a row!  He has been a fantastic rockstar, really showing off his good side.  He's even thrown some nice, clean lead changes across a diagonal to prove he really CAN do them, good pony!

I've decided to continue this blog after I get moved ... because 4 Star Eventers will be 20 minutes away from where we'll be living.  I see some lessons in my future!  And I WILL have more horses; I want a pony some day.  And another OTTB.  Or 2, or 3;)  I take pleasure in the fact that I've transformed a skinny, terrified 5yo ottb to a mature, confident 10 year old.  I took him over his first jump, took him to his first show, and taught him trail riding is FUN.  Now I get to pass him along to someone that will love him just as much, if not even more than I do.  Thank you to any of my readers that have passed along his information, it was a hard decision that I'm finally good with.  I'm excited to continue sharing my adventure as I take this fork in the road of Life.  Hope you all are doing great!  I know I finally feel optimistic again instead of sad and terrified:)

Announcement!

First of all, had 2 GREAT rides this week so far!  I say so far because honorary little sis Nicole is flying in from NY to come ride this weekend!!!  Yay!!!  So I will see her on Sunday and hopefully ride.  I say hopefully because there is a 60% chance of tstorms ... :(

Secondly, the news you've all been waiting for!  If you're especially observant, I actually spilled the beans a few months ago, on the "about me" box to the right.  Drum roll ... we're moving to California.  This is the big, driving reason I'm trying to sell Tiki.  If he doesn't sell in the next 3 weeks, we will plan to take him with us, which will seriously put a damper on our travel plans.  We already have the 5 day route planned and mapped out ... taking Tiki will really mess that up because now we'll have to find places he can stay overnight.  Ugh, the STRESS of it all!  I've lowered his price by almost HALF my original asking price, HOPING someone will bite.  I can't let him go for nothing ... he's sound, young, experienced, and I've put SO much time and money into him.  It's not like I'm asking 100K for him ... 8K is incredibly reasonable, overly so!  I just don't have much time left.  So, if any of you know someone looking in GA ... PLEASE send them my way!

We're moving to Sacramento.  It's SO beautiful there.  There's actually a big eventing barn about 15 minutes from where we'll be living with board slightly lower than what I'm paying now.  That's where he'll live if he ends up coming with us.  If  he sells, I plan to still go out and hang out there and get to know Cali horse people, maybe even take a lesson here and there.  They're in the process of building a big xc course, so maybe I can get involved in that, do some volunteering and what not.

Rode the red head Monday, and he was just lovely.  I put on his cc saddle and the hunter bridle, which currently has the HS D-ring on it, and I literally did the ENTIRE ride as circle, reverse across diagonal, circle, reverse across diagonal, rinse and repeat.  Even at the canter I did this!  I've had to suck it up and ride with a crop the last few rides because the dressage trainer across the street has borrowed my spurs and has yet to return them ... so my legs are getting in some good exercise!  I HATE riding with a crop because it makes my arm stiff, but having to do it has made my arm a little better.  He started out a little on the stiff side because he's basically sat doing nothing for 2 weeks, but as per usual, he relaxed into the exercise and just got better and better.  At the canter, I halted across the diagonal, walked a few steps, then picked up the new lead.  That way he didn't stress about whether we were going to do a flying change, and he didn't get 'pulley'.  I had a single x-rail set up, and I cantered him over it, reversed, picked up the canter, circled, then cantered it off the opposite lead.  We both felt really good.  He didn't change to the jump, I counted down from 5, and all our distances were perfectly good and acceptable.  Love my boy!  He is so wonderful.  Jumped it probably 6 times then called it a day.

Today I slapped on the dressage tack, and we did some stuff in Star's pasture down in the front field.  He was a brat when I mounted, and I had to halt, back, then get off then back on again.  Star wasn't helping because she kept coming over and trying to investigate as I got on.  Fortunately, 2nd time he remembered his manners and we walked down towards the road.  After a brief time walking both directions, I went to the trot.  The fenceline is weird in that pasture, it's not straight, so I worked on sticking with a rectangular arena with nice, square corners, but I had to ride it off my eye.  Easier said than done!  Especially when a previously mentioned Morgan mare decides to come down with you and graze RIGHT in your way.  Alas, I was able to work around her, and did pretty well with my track.  I did some huge serpentines all over the pasture, working all the way from one end to the other.  I focused on his bend, his step, and the flexion ... he did great with it!  Heading towards the road, it's slightly downhill so he wanted to get a flat and quick, but I regulated my posting and half halted, and good to go!  I ended with a HUGE centerline exercise, basically trotting right up the center of the pasture.  There is SUCH a long centerline dong that!  I sat the trot, and did left shoulder-in, switch to left haunches-in.  Then come back, adding in a few circles along the way, and repeat right.  Then do it again, this time L S-I to R S-I and back again.  Then, pick up canter straight on centerline, circle, come back to centerline, walk simple change, and circle other way.  That was HARD.  The area I was asking him to circle on was very uneven, and I'll be DANGED if the boy didn't feel AWESOME.  Light, balanced, and just full of try and effort.  I did that a total of 3 times, then let him be done.  Awesome day, I will be sore tomorrow!  If we don't get rained out Sunday, I want to jump a little bit :)