AND! It has been decided ...

Me on a PWF lesson pony during summer camp :)

I have a mare to ride!  Her name is Jade, she's a dark bay ottb, petite little thing too!  All the better for my short leg, lol :)  She's not as narrow as Tiki, but she's a little bit smaller than he, maybe 15.1 or so?

It's always a tossup when you're doing a blind meet and greet.  It has been confirmed that "horse people are crazy", so I was unsure about Jade's owner, S, and she was unsure about me as well.  When we conversed and she mentioned she'd ridden Jade in a western saddle, I asked her if I could ride in her english one.  I am one of those weirdos that feel very uncomfortable and insecure in a western saddle, and I've ridden in all types.  I sold my BdH I'd bought for Tiki because I never loved it for ME, and it really didn't fit much of anything OTHER than Tiki, so it was just taking up space in my apartment.  You just never know what kind of equipment people are going to have, so I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped for the best!

The barn is pretty nice; 2 rings, a roundpen, a nice sized barn.  Pastures are dirt lots of course, but I've come to realize that is par for the course in Cali.  Miss Jade is pasture boarded and barefoot, woop woop!  I tried so hard to do that with Tiki, but he loves his stall too much for that, and his feet just never toughened up enough despite copious applications of pine tar.  We brought her in, knocked the dirt off, and S put the saddle on.  Yay!  It's a lovely saddle, super soft and nice and sticky :)  It even has the long billets; it's a brand I don't recognize, but it seems to be a nice quality.  The bit I rode her in was a kimberwicke, but S is completely cool with me experimenting with a few different ones.  I will try her in the loosering french link next time.  We put her in the roundpen, and nothing happened, so I felt fine taking her into the ring and getting on.

I'm completely grateful that after 5 months of not riding, all your skills don't go away, lol!  I never felt 'off' or awkward at all, I just got to work figuring her out.  The walk work was fine; she isn't fussy at all in the mouth.  I did a few circles, some light leg yield, a little shoulder-fore and Jade was good.  I then picked up the trot and felt right away why S hasn't done much with her.  She's not an easy ride!  She's the type to move fast but not go anywhere.  She tries to fall into the center, she spooks off the rail, she curls up behind the bit, but goes fast and hangs on you too.  Definitely on the sensitive side, but I like them that way.  S has said her struggles are mostly that she's a "do it yourselfer", and when Jade gets difficult, S doesn't feel comfortable picking a fight, so she's been doing just mainly walk and some trot.  I really hope that I can help her out; the mare WANTS to be good I think, but she also is one that works REALLY hard at getting out of work.

I did a TON of circle, reverse, come up centerline, circle both ways, half turn in reverse a bunch, leg yield to and from the rail, shallow serpentine, full ring serpentine.  She tries to just blow off the leg in turns and DRAG you around, will definitely have to work on that little maneuver.  She will be a fun one to chronicle; I really hope to make some real, tangible progress with her over the coming weeks.  Kudos to her, she does canter both ways on the correct lead (definitely a drama queen about it, though), and she has 3 nice gaits, so there's plenty there to work with.  Though she threw lots of avoidance techniques at me, she was never a witch, so I feel comfortable riding her alone.  S was thrilled when I finished up and said I loved her, gave me the green light to ride any time :)  I didn't time my ride, I finished up with a short canter both ways, then a little trot over a single pole each direction.  She felt steady in my hand, responsive, and reasonably straight and engaged.  I think the snaffle will really help with the behind the bit thing, I'm not a huge kimberwicke fan anyway, so we'll see how she goes.  I actually think she's a good candidate for the waterford, but it's only a 4 3/4 which will be too small for her, unfortunately.

So, "Tails" is back!  I'm just riding her once a week, twice on the weeks I'm off on Saturdays.  My goal is to help her be more consistent and steady for S.  I think just insisting on a good work ethic can go a long way towards achieving that goal.  Laters, y'all!

Karma

NOT my little muffin;)

Oftentimes, one sees the word "karma", and thinks negatively.  There's good karma, and bad karma ... obviously, we tend to reap what we sow!  I believe I'm finally about to reap me some GOOD karma :)

When Tiki was my little muffin, I offered him up to several of my good riding kids as an experience for them.  A few took me up on the offer, but not too many.  LR was more of a mutually beneficial thing; she got the experience, Tiki got a fantastic schooling ride.  I now find myself in the somewhat awkward position of being "horseless and broke", which doesn't always bode well for riding.  As stated in my earlier blog post, I'm trying to work out something with a local trainer to exchange lessons for "work", but in the mean time I received a  "pm" in my COTH inbox today.

Lo and behold, it's a fellow CA cother with an ottb not too far from me.  She seems to have found herself in a position similar to mine previously.  Nice green horse that could use more miles under saddle, and a limited schedule that gives her only 2-3 days per week to ride.  I see a potentially mutually beneficial arrangement in the works!  We've made a plan to meet up so we can meet "in the flesh", and I can sit on said horse and see if I'd like to ride her!  Yay, something to blog about!  Lol.  In the mean time, I plan to continue to try and do the 'lesson' thing as well, I'm just sensing opportunity here and intend to jump on it!  I'm glad that by my giving back, and doing things for my students for 'free' (I shipped not only Tiki, but also Star and Sparky out to PWF several times just for the sheer heck of it), maybe I'm getting a little bit of 'cosmic justice':)  Looking forward to finally getting to sit on a horse for the first time since JUNE.

I'm here!

Look at that beautiful view on the way to the barn!!

Well!  That was hard.  I've studiously avoided this blog until yesterday.  Sad, I know.  But it's "easy" not to dwell on things when you pretend that they don't matter.

If I'm being honest, I HAVE enjoyed my slight break from horses in general.  That tends to happen to me; I get SO involved, and SO invested and SO embroiled that I burn myself out; it's happened before, 17 years ago.  I was working/riding/going to the barn 5 and 6 days a week, and then I met the man who is now my husband.  BAM!  Stayed away from horses in general for about a year, and then didn't really get super involved again with them until about 3 years later.

If you've never owned a horse before, I'm here to tell you now:  IT'S STRESSFUL!  Vet bill both expected and unexpected, lessons, trailering, clinics, shows, poker rides, hunter paces, trail rides, etc.  Not to mention lost shoes, ripped blankets, destroyed fly sheets, chewed up reins, broken saddle trees, etc!  If you're independently wealthy, no big deal.  Just swipe that bank card, and all is well!  If you're like ME ... you're probably better off not owning a horse.

I'm happy to report that the muffin man is looking fat and happy in his new home!  His weight looks great, his coat looks great, he's getting to compete at Chatt Hills, and his owner is still in love with him :)  I'm so thankful the sale worked out for all parties; it's because of him that I'm blogging from my kitchen table here in the crisp, cool California morning.  It will warm up to around 70 today and will be sunny and gorgeous.  Who can complain about that??

I'm ALSO happy to report that I'm working on a way to get back into things, horse wise.  I got a job that I LOVE working in a dental office.  The work is challenging, it's out of the elements, and it's only 20 minutes up the street :)  On the up side of that job, I have every Wednesday OFF.  Seems like the perfect day to go hang at the barn, huh??  This past Wed I moseyed on over to a barn out in the town I work in, and spent several hours watching the trainer teach/ride and had the time of my life!  It was so relaxing to just BE there, not having to worry about working ... I'm trying to work on a plan that will allow me to do some work for her in exchange for a weekly lesson!  That achieves the goal I had set for myself when leaving GA; sell the horse, and just concentrate on learning and riding as much as I can.  For now, riding once a week will be perfect.  It will be a great escape, I'll actually get to LESSON instead of muddle around on my own, and I won't be all stressed out with being at the barn 6 days a week in addition to my normal life.  I'm not ashamed to say that my apartment is MUCH cleaner than my house was, my laundry room literally has NO clothes piled up in it, my kitchen is clean, carpets vacuumed, and even the ceiling fans are devoid of dust.  At this stage of our life, I just want to escape to the barn once in awhile.  I'm enjoying the time with my boys, I'm enjoying my "real job", and I'm enjoying going to church and spending time volunteering at my church.

I pledge to come back here to "Tails".  I WILL own another ottb someday; Tiki was such a blast I have to do another one!  I will get back to catching up on the other blogger's lives I've neglected in the past 4 months because it was too hard to venture back here.  My life is still very much in upheaval because it took so long to find jobs once we got here; as usual for ME, finances are stretched really tight, but I'm optimistic about getting things in order soon.  I'm hopeful to get something worked out lesson wise so that I have something to blog about in the next week or 2!  I don't know if anyone is still reading, but I'm sorry I stepped away and happy to be back!

Stepping away

Well, y'all have seen that Tiki is gone. On one hand, I am so blessed and grateful. On the other, I am sad and devastated. Honestly, what has helped me through this whole process is to emulate LR. How is that?  Well, over the years she has had a few wonderful ponies and an amazing junior hunter. When she graduated high school and went on to college, she sold her wonderful, amazing show horse and jumped into the routine of being horseless but going to school and riding as much as possible!  I wanted to be selfish and keep Tiki forever... but I am going through a HUGE change in my life and a horse makes that way more complicated. "Why not lease?" you ask. Because I'm a control freak!  And I have seen SO many come back broken, it really is sad. And I am a concerned horse mom, there is no way anyone leasing a horse from me would be happy because I would be so picky about his care, training, etc. In the end, I had to let him go completely. I found my own 12 year old girl (actually, she found me!) and when she rode him for the first time, she fell in love!

Not gonna lie, selling a horse in 4 weeks is incredibly stressful. I didn't get much interest until I dropped his price to under 5 figures, and all of a sudden I had 4 potential buyers with a 5th lurking in the shadows...and 9 days to get it done!!!  When his now owner scheduled a vet check for the Friday before we left, I was fine with it. I figured they wouldn't spend the money to vet him unless they were serious. What nearly killed me though was what I saw bright and early Friday morning; a cut worthy of stitches right in the center of his chest. Looked like a vet had sliced open his chest about 4 inches across with a scalpel, and left the skin flap hanging. I wanted to throw up. Tiki has never even been on antibiotics before under my care, much less had to have stitches!

The vet came from south GA to do the exam, and said yes, it needed stitches. He had to ignore it for the time being and do the tests first. Despite what had to be a painful injury, Tiki passed everything with flying colors. Relieved, I expected things to come to a close as the vet stitched him up, but turned out x-rays were part of the deal..but the vet didn't bring the machine which meant we had to seriously figure out how to get them done in a timely manner. Luckily, we got it scheduled, and I shipped him down south to get x-rayed. Talk about stress!!!

Fortunately, nothing alarming was found. An old racing injury in both front feet, and mild changes in the hocks. So, negotiations were made, papers were signed, I am horseless, and a little girl's dreams came true.

I don't know yet how much blogging here I will be doing for the next little bit. I have found a barn online I want to scope out, but riding is super low on the totem pole right now. I will try my hand at blogging about riders other than myself once I get my computer reconnected. I will own another horse at some point, this I know, it will just take time. Y'all take care, I'm not going anywhere:)

Feeling the love

First off ... Tiki has a new mom.  More on that in a later post ...

I want to touch a little bit on how amazing my "kids" are.  When my husband I made the decision to move to California, I'm not going to lie.  I was feeling a little bit "unloved".  A huge fight with a great friend, a big fight with my family, good clients leaving my lesson program ... I was feeling a little bit like, "What have I got to lose"?  Well, as time has progressed and we've begun this process, I am being reminded that I AM loved.  A lot.  And it makes me so happy and I feel so blessed to have these amazing people in my life.

Words cannot even express the emotion I'm feeling as I read all the letters and cards that my girls and even my kid's parents are giving me.  I'm realizing I have COMPLETELY underestimated the impact I've had on people's lives.  I've been doing what I do for 16 years.  Whoa!  Can't even believe that!  To bring things full circle, I've had a young woman shadowing me for last month that I actually TAUGHT back then, when I was 18.  I've always held myself to a high standard, and tried to live my life by example; I've always tried to be an example to the people I've taught.  Turns out ... I've made an impact.

I am so humbled to read the anguish my leaving has brought on, to hear how much my kids (AND my adults!) will miss their weekly lessons with me.  I KNOW  I have a gift ... and I WILL use that gift again.  I have learned SO much from my wonderful boss; she has really helped to shape and mold my teaching style, and has gotten me to see things in a much more professional way.  She has been a mentor for me in my "actual" life, as well as for my professional life.

I think the reason I'm good at what I do is because I always put a piece of my heart into each and every soul I teach.  Sometimes those people end up sucking the life out of me.  More often than not, I feel an infusion of love and appreciation each time I teach them.  It's so nice to read how much that heart I give is appreciated. God has put me EXACTLY where I've needed to be all this time, and now He wants me to move on and focus on my own life a little more.  I've helped young girls grow into amazing women, and I've helped my fantastic teenagers to become horseman and really love themselves and their riding.

I wish I could articulate to each and every person that has sent me a sweet and touching letter how much you all mean to me.  It honestly breaks my heart a little bit to feel the pain my leaving has caused, but I KNOW I've given all of you the foundation you need to become amazing people, and amazing horsemen.  My heart is definitely fractured as a result of walking away from this life, but I know my path has taken a turn, and I have to follow it!  I will remember all of you fondly, and I MEAN it when I say CALL ME, TEXT ME, E MAIL ME, I'm here for you:)  We live in an amazingly connected world these days, and I plan to take advantage of it!  I love you guys.  Thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the life lessons.  Thank you for shaping ME into the woman I am today.  I have learned as much from you all as you have from me.  I am forever grateful to have had the opportunity to teach your children how to love horses, and how to love themselves.  Godbless!!!!!

Liebster award!

I am always so honored and surprised when someone nominates my blog for any of the bloggosphere awards because I feel like I keep more of a journal than a blog so much :)  It makes me happy that people enjoy reading about my adventures, and find my endless ramblings amusing on some level.  Emmie at http://mylifeonhorses.blogspot.com nominated me for a Liebster award, much obliged!

How to Accept the Award
The Liebster Blog Award is a way to recognize blogs that have less than 200 followers. Liebster is a word in German that means beloved and valued. Here are the rules for accepting the award:

1. Thank the person that nominated you and include a link back to their blog.
2. List 11 random facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
4. Create 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate.
5. Choose 11 bloggers with 200 or fewer followers to nominate and include links back to their blogs.
6. Go to each blogger's page and let them know you have nominated them

11 random facts about me:

1.  I danced in the Opening Ceremonies of the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.   It was one of the most exciting things I've ever done!

2.  The ONLY reality show I would ever consider trying out for would be "The Amazing Race".

3.  I've driven an automatic transmission vehicle now for the last 12 years.  I really miss having a manual!

4.  I'm a little bit addicted to Sudoku puzzles

5.  I would MUCH rather clean stalls than clean my house.

6.  I'm a dog person.

7.  I'm going to begin training for a triathlon once I get moved to California!

8.  I'm not much for drinking.  Not even wine.  If you CAN get me to drink, it's usually a margarita/fruity frou frou type drink.

9.  The day before we leave GA for CA is my 14th wedding anniversary.

10.  I'm more of a mountain girl rather than a beach girl.

11.  When I was young (and arguably dumb) I preferred my horses the bigger the better.  I'm 5'2.  Now?  I WILL own an eventing pony some day!;)

Here are 11 Questions I Made for You!

1. You are stuck on a deserted island, what is the first thing you do?

I guess I would try and find a source for fresh water!

2. You meet a stranger, he offers you two pills. He says the green one will take you on an amazing adventure although it may have dangerous/deadly consequences or he says you can take the yellow which will make you forget any of this ever happened. Which would you take? Why?

Wow!  This is so hard!  I guess it depends on what my reality is.  I always said if the "Matrix" were real, I would rather stay in the Matrix and live my life as a fantasy in my little pod thing rather than 'actually' live in the harsh reality of that world.

3. Would you rather own a unicorn or a pegasus?

Pegasus, for sure!

4. What was your most memorable experience you and your horse shared?

Competing Novice for the first time at the KHP.  BEST time ever of my entire life.  Can't wait to do it again some day!

5. What is a riding discipline you have always wanted to try? Why? ie. barrel racing, steeple chasing etc.

I'd like to ride a cutting or a reigning horse some day.

6. What was your favorite toy from your childhood?

My Breyer horses!

7. If you show, what was your most favorite ribbon/award you earned?

My beautiful yellow May Daze ribbon for previously mentioned first Novice outing!

8. You are at a bar (or restaurant if you are under 21!) what drink would you order?

Texas Margarita!

9. How many siblings do you have?

One brother and one sister, both younger

10. What is your favorite time of the year?

Spring and Fall.  Fall probably trumps Spring because the temps can be just a little less humid and muggy :)

11. Which do you like short horses or tall horses?

I don't ever need to own a horse taller than 16 hands.  But I like to think I don't discriminate based on height!

11 questions from me:

1.  When you ride, do you cross train disciplines?  Meaning, have you ever slapped a western saddle on your hunter?  Taken your eventer to the hunter ring?  Done a dressage show with your endurance Arab?  

2.  TV watcher or no?

3.  Smart phone, or not smart phone?

4.  Are you a neat freak?  Or does a little dust on the picture frames not bother you?

5.  If you could live ANYWHERE in the entire world, where would it be?

6.  If you had an hour of down time... would you take a nap, or go for a run?

7.  Do you color your hair?  Why or why not?

8.  Other than horses ... what would you consider your favorite activity?  Or hobby?

9.  Would you flat out gallop your horse in an open field?  Have you?

10.  Do you care if you're watching HD TV?  Or is it just your SO that cares?  Or do NEITHER of you care?

11.  Can you drive a trailer?  Are you comfortable doing it, or does it make your palms sweat?

11 blogs I give the Liebster award to!

1.  Amanda at http://afatgirlafathorse.blogspot.com/

2.  Amy at http://galsandhorses.blogspot.com/

3.  Alighieri at http://comediceventing.blogspot.com/

4.  Suzanne at http://confessionsofanaaer.blogspot.com/

5.  Cheri at http://golightlysporthorses.blogspot.com/

6.  Nicole at http://laughingdownthelines.blogspot.com/

7.  Suzie at http://pacificcoasteventing.blogspot.com/

8.  Holly at http://4stargazing.blogspot.com/

9.  Jennifer at http://buildingthegrove.blogspot.com/

10.  Stacey at http://teamtacot3d.blogspot.com/

11.  And finally, BAD EVENTER!  http://badeventer.blogspot.com/   

Here in the 11th hour ...

My favorite pic from our first show together!

There's finally a little action.  We move in 9 days.  NINE days. I've been preparing myself for the reality of moving Tiki 3000 miles across country since my barn owner is kicking us out, but it's beginning to look like maybe a little girl will get to love on him and spoil him :)  I've moved into actually wanting to sell him, believe it or not.  I was SO sad about my decision to put him up for sale, but upon reflection, I KNOW I'm making the right decision.  We are changing our life, and moving 3000 miles away ... on our own.  Paying our own way.  I have a responsibility to my family to get on top of my finances, and go back to school.  Paying for a horse at this point in my life is irresponsible; for all intents and purposes, I'm 18 years old again, just graduating HS with my entire life ahead of me.  Tiki has been tried by 2 ADORABLE 12 year old girls, and he would be PERFECT for either one of them; they just have to pony up the $$!  Praying we get things wrapped up by the weekend, because this is my LAST weekend in the state of GA.  Wow.

On the upside, having 3 people try him in 3 days means I've actually ridden the muffin 3 days in a row!  He has been a fantastic rockstar, really showing off his good side.  He's even thrown some nice, clean lead changes across a diagonal to prove he really CAN do them, good pony!

I've decided to continue this blog after I get moved ... because 4 Star Eventers will be 20 minutes away from where we'll be living.  I see some lessons in my future!  And I WILL have more horses; I want a pony some day.  And another OTTB.  Or 2, or 3;)  I take pleasure in the fact that I've transformed a skinny, terrified 5yo ottb to a mature, confident 10 year old.  I took him over his first jump, took him to his first show, and taught him trail riding is FUN.  Now I get to pass him along to someone that will love him just as much, if not even more than I do.  Thank you to any of my readers that have passed along his information, it was a hard decision that I'm finally good with.  I'm excited to continue sharing my adventure as I take this fork in the road of Life.  Hope you all are doing great!  I know I finally feel optimistic again instead of sad and terrified:)