You know, I don't normally do this sort of thing here, but my husband could care less about my life, and DEFINITELY doesn't read this blog, so I feel pretty free to vent my frustrations.
My husband is NOT a horsey husband, in the LEAST. I have no clue WHY in the world he "allowed" me to go to Maryland 2 years ago and get my horse. I have NO idea why in the world he "allows" me to do ANYTHING with him at all. I shouldn't be sad or upset by this. He was like that almost 15 years ago when I married him. Back then, it was almost a form of jealousy. He wanted us to be TOGETHER all the time. To his credit, I did step away from the horses for a few years, and experience some new things I had never done. But, as they always do, the horses pulled me back in, and I basically dropped out of college to teach lessons full time.
Nowadays, it's just old habit for him to lay a massive guilt trip on me about doing ANYTHING fun with my horse. Unless I'm being paid for it (and sometimes, even when I AM being paid for it), he acts like I am the worst wife in the world for (in this case) wanting to spend $42 on a tank of gas to drive 172 miles one way to volunteer for one day at the Pine Top horse trials. Yes, I'd be gone all day. But it wouldn't cost me food, and I would get a xc schooling credit to use for later. But THEN, THAT'S when I would go back, and spend some ridiculous amount of money ($374???) to haul my horse down there to redeem my schooling credit.
We don't really DO anything together any more. I work myself to the BONE 6 days a week, he works hard 5 days a week, when he's done with work, he's not doing ANYTHING. Not washing clothes, not unloading the dishwasher, not painting the front door, not anything. So, even if I HAVE a Sunday OFF (like today), he doesn't even CHECK with me to find out if I'd like to do anything. Go on a picnic, go to lunch, go to the movies ... no, he decided, ON HIS OWN, to take the truck half an hour away to have the rotors turned. So, I headed off on MY own to go hiking at our local mountain (ironically called Pine Top Mountain). If we DO spend time together on a Sunday, we literally sit on the couch ALL DAY LONG watching some form of tv. I have a MASSIVE headache right now from sitting in front of the computer/tv for 6+ hours. How is that DOING anything together?
Today, I looked him right in the eye and asked how he felt about me volunteering on Sunday. I said, yes, I'm working on Saturday, but I would like to volunteer Sunday at Pine Top. I said I wasn't exactly sure where it was, but I thought it was a "couple of hours" south. He looked at me blankly, said nothing, then went back to talking about our vacation in a month. OK, fine. I supposed that meant he didn't care if I did it, which DOES happen every now and then.
Well, now I mentioned that Pine Top is actually 3 hours away according to Mapquest, and he went BALLISTIC. Said I had NO business going down there, my car was UNSAFE to drive down there (but I CAN drive an hour back and forth to work 5 days a week?), and that if I tried to do so, he would take the battery out of my car.
Is this normal? I am so frustrated and angry, which is why I have vented on here, which as y'all know, I DON'T do. I had to e-mail the lady back and apologize and say that something has come up already, and maybe I could do it next time. I have been SO stressed, and have been working SO hard lately, I was really excited to head down there and jump judge for the Advanced XC. 3 hour drive and all.